The vacuum is one of those household appliances that everyone is forced to put up with at one time or another.
British inventor James Dyson decided to improve upon it, creating a cone-suction design that launched a revolution in the industry.
But even Dyson can’t get a hand on the world’s most airtight vacuum designs: plans and drawings made by al-Qaeda’s September 11th mastermind, Khalid Sheikh Mohammed, drawn while he was in CIA custody.
After Mohammed was waterboarded, and surrendered information vital to preventing more terrorist attacks, he was kept in custody to await trial.
But the agency had no long-term plan for him. Someday, he might prove useful. Perhaps, he’d even stand trial one day.
And for that, he’d need to be sane.
Therefore, the agency approved his request to look at vacuum schematics online and create a better vacuum of his own.
However, Adam Goldman’s AP report really gets it wrong on what Mohammed had to endure:
Mohammed was subjected to harsh interrogations in Poland. Agency officers and contractors forced him to stay awake for 180 hours, according to a CIA inspector general’s report. He also underwent 183 instances of waterboarding, or simulated drowning.
The 183 instances of waterboarding is a complete fabrication.
He was waterboarded five times.
Here is the Red Cross report if you don’t believe me.
So we kept the guy who orchestrated the death of 3,000 Americans up a few days and poured some water over his face.
If that’s torture, then why do college water polo players seem to be doing swimmingly?
Regardless, it’s hard to know how much money the CIA spent on Mohammed while awaiting trial. But it looks like a big damn waste:
Soon the CIA was trying to find ways to entertain Mohammed as his intelligence value diminished.
The prison had a debriefing room, where Mohammed, who saw himself as something of a professor, held “office hours,” as he told CIA officers. While chained to the floor, Mohammed would lecture the CIA officers on his path to jihad, his childhood and family. Tea and cookies were served.
He’s like your eccentric uncle, if your eccentric uncle was into terrorism.
This is how I know we’re one of the ridiculously nicest countries on earth. We take a man who unequivocally ordered the murder of thousands of our fellow citizens, destroyed our two largest buildings, damaged our defense HQ, and took down four planes, and offer him tea and cookies in prison. Even Norway can’t top that shit.
I’d say to circulate this story throughout the Middle East to show just how humane we are, but it will just encourage more terrorism for tea and cookies and access to engineering tools.
