The worst thing about being on a plane is being in such close, recirculated air quarters. Everyone’s lungs merge into one enormous breathing apparatus that smells like stale corn nuts and feels like headache.
According to a Danish study, this cesspool may start smelling a little worse.
The study recommends that if you have to fart at 20,000 feet, by all means you should do so.
“(Holding back) holds significant drawbacks for the individual, such as discomfort and even pain, bloating, dyspepsia (indigestion), pyrosis (heartburn) just to name but a few resulting abdominal symptoms”.
These all sound like side effects from ingesting airplane food to begin with.
So how do researchers hope to create a carbon-and-smell-neutral situation of this madness? “We humbly propose that active charcoal should be embedded in the seat cushion, since this material is able to neutralize the odor”.
Well, let’s hope that increases your seat cushion’s floatability, because nothing floats quite like charcoal.
The Carlin adage of being stranded in the North Atlantic “while clinging to a pillow full of beer farts” has never rang more true.
